Making a Difference: One Small Step at a Time

What Does it Mean to Make a Difference?

A difference ultimately means change, and one of us embraces that word enthusiastically. She jumps wholeheartedly into opportunities for change, sometimes at the expense of security and safety.  

The other really hates that word. He sees it as a loss of familiar comforts. He doesn’t fear the unknown.  Just really really dislikes it!  It’s not fear.  Nope.

We all have a bit of that contradiction within us. We want to make a difference in the world, but we all don’t want to be forced into change at some level.  Some of us have that level higher than others.  It’s not fear!

Why We Want to Make a Difference

The motivations behind the desire to make a difference can be varied and contradictory:

• The desire to escape suffering: Marcus Aurelius, an emperor, used Stoicism to frame suffering as an inevitable part of life, with freedom from it achieved through a shift in perspective.
• The desire for growth: Psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott explored the tension between creative flourishing and the constraints of external reality found in early childhood play.
• The desire for novelty: French philosopher Roland Barthes examined how our craving for freshness often coexists with a fear of disruption.
• The desire for meaning: Goethe’s Faust can symbolize the relentless pursuit of meaning and fulfillment, embodying both the promise and the peril of making a difference in the world.

While we all have a desire to change the world, the culture in which we live can have an effect on how we approach that change.  But not as much as you might think! We consider the same things either explicitly or implicitly to help us make decisions about change.  We just differ culturally on how we answer the questions:

• The Nature of the Problem that the change would resolve
• Available Options
• Resources
• Goals and Values
• Social Context
• Risks
• Procedural Concerns
• Who Has the Authority to Address the Problem
• Implementation

Is Making a Difference Good or Bad?

There are three ways of thinking about making a difference in society, and these three ways have ben argued since ancient times.  The world is continuously getting worse, the world is continuously getting better, or the world is going in cycles of better and worse.

So, whether a change you make is bad or good is a matter of opinion. Does popular opinion ever change its declarations of what is good for society?

Some folks used to consider it good to “civilize” cultures around the world with colonization. Awkward! 

Was it good for society to go from being hunter/gatherers to farmers? Not if we measure the change by the general health and longevity of society. Is that the only yardstick to measure what is good and bad for society?

In parts of Europe, the Black Death led to labor shortages. To stabilize economies, maintain agricultural production, and keep society healthier, serfdom was reintroduced.  Does ensuring a longer, healthier life justify stripping peasants of freedoms they had gained before the plague?

Keep it Simple

Modest but consistent efforts are much better at making a positive difference in the world than grand gestures with a ton of funding behind them.  This is true on a societal level, but on an individual level there are some added benefits to the person putting forth the effort!

Simple, altruistic acts can:

• Improve emotional well being
• Reduce stress and anxiety
• Foster a sense of connection and purpose
• Enhance personal happiness
• Strengthen relationships
• Contribute to a supportive community

If you ever experience a social crisis that threatens your mental health, one study suggests that small simple acts of kindness can be a lifeline to you. Another suggests that finding small acts of kindness outside of your usual routine is the most effective way to get the boost you need.

Small and Simple Things

This is a section I plan to include each week in 2025. We will hit on a lot of subjects that our 4 intended target audience might be interested in.  Each of those subjects will have a list of small and simple things that can be done. 

This is not a list to conquer. Just pick one or two, or use it to help you brainstorm ideas:

• Send an encouraging note or postcard. You could try Project Pen Pal or Postcrossing.
• Offer a sincere compliment to someone.
• Volunteer locally. Calgary, Kamloops, Sacramento, Santa Cruz
• Express appreciation to a coworker, teacher, or friend.
• Look up a local grassroots cause to join.
• Perform small favors like holding open a door, help carry groceries, or clean snow off random cars in a parking lot.
• Donate unused items like books, clothes or supplies to those to those in need.
• Plant flowers or a small tree in your neighborhood or garden to beautify the environment. Try Seed Bombs!
• Be present for someone who needs to talk or share their feelings.  It’s harder than you think to listen attentively without interjecting your own thoughts!
• Share a big umbrella on a rainy day.

If you’re willing to take a moment to reflect on the small things you’ve done in the past to make a difference, I would be honored for additional suggestions down in the comments below. The depth you can add would make this post a resource for others too.

You Do Not Know What You Have Already Done

Shortly after Pop Payne’s father died, he ran into an older man who asked him how his dad is doing. We will name the old man “George” to keep this story clear.

“He’s still dead”, Pop replied glibly. George suddenly needed to sit down, overcome by shock and sadness.  George told Pop a story about his father when they were in grade school.

Pop’s dad was three or four years older than George – an age difference that is significant in grade school. He came across George as he was crying.  His dad stopped to find out the reason for Georges’ tears. Some bullies had poured all of George’s toy marbles down a hole where he could not reach them, and his game was gone forever.  After the conversation and consolation, George parted ways with Pop’s dad and went on with the rest of his day.

Later that evening, Pop’s dad appeared before George, sweaty and filthy.  George remembered Pop’s dad asking a lot of questions about the specific hole, and realized that while George went home, Pop’s dad went home to get a shovel. Pop’s dad silently put a bag containing George’s marbles in George’s hand and went home.

Pop’s dad never remembered that story, so he could never have told it.  It was forgotten.  It was not a significant story to him.  It was a significant story to George.

You have already made a difference. You were a young kid, and don’t remember the stories. You may have heard some of the stories later. Maybe you wished we would shut up about you because your parent was embarrassing. But, you have already made a profound positive change in the life of your parent.  Our world will never be the same because of you. Thank you.

It’s great you have read to the end of this looking for ways to make a difference in the world.  Go you! Keep trying!  Just know that if you accidentally reintroduce serfdom, or fall into what feels like ineffectual mediocrity, you cannot fail because you have already succeeded. You are unconditionally loved.

Or, maybe your parent has just lost their marbles.